There were many things that I did in London after the last post, but it seems silly to recount it all now. I don’t think it would have the same tone as if I were writing it from London. It’s so strange being home. The reverse culture-shock is stronger than I expected. I expected that I would be surprised by the size of things and by the weather and maybe miss London some but overall that would be it. I didn’t realize I would feel more out of place here upon returning than I ever felt in London. I think England as home now rather than here and that is a little sad to me that I feel so displaced.
I can’t describe the feeling. If you’ve read The Golden Compass I imagine it feels a bit like being severed. It goes beyond noticing the size of things or the change in accent. I’m glad to be here and to see my friends and family and to eat my familiar food again but being over here on this part of the world doesn’t feel right anymore. I see other people who studied abroad and I recognize the same feeling.
I guess I’ll get used to it and it won’t feel like a huge part of me is missing any more. One day the four months I spent in Europe will blur into a few memories and the vividness of life there will be less clanging against the life I lead here. I don’t look forward to that time, even though it will make living here easier.